Jay Gnospelius

Given the choice between working a decade in the ad industry or being run over by a freight train, 89% would choose the freight train(zoomerang.com/freighttrain).


But when you think-tank with Jay Gnospelius, you get the best of both worlds. With over ten years of Creative Direction, Creative Creation, Copy Writing, Art Direction, Photography, Commercial Direction, Magic and Semi-Pro Angling, Jay is the Pre-ADD generation's 360 Advertising answer to Mark Burnett.


One part PT Barnum and two parts PTO, Jay brings an edge to ideas that range from brilliant to unintelligible to way ahead of their time. Well, if Tivo'ed and slowed down to 1/2 original speed, they're actually right on time!


Yeah yeah yeah...but what makes Jay breakthrough, bleeding edge, best in show??? One word, Bionics! It's true! Jay is the first truly bionic creative professional in the history of planet Earth. Fitted with a microprocessor knee capable of achieving speeds of up to 97 mph* and a bionic hand capable of crushing most recyclable synthetic beverage containers into flattened, less recognizable versions of themselves, Jay is both a creative powerhouse and handy to have around the agency. Got a braggadocios client that needs to be knocked down a few pegs? Let Jay deliver his Bionic handshake with a grip that both foreshadows his top-flight business acumen and says "sit down, zip it and get ready for some bionic go to business plans that'll knock your gold toe socks off."


In a nutshell, Jay would be no use because he couldn't even fit in a nutshell. But if you own an agency or run a creative department or just want to take your karaoke to the next level, then Jay is your man.